i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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