I think i sorta joined a cult last night
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
