At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
