oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
