So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
