That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
