did you get engaged???
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
