O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she woke up with a sticky ear
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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