i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Couch. On fire.
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