found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
