Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
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your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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