She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
