I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
