is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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