There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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