Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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