her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize