he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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