Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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