Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
