dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
