So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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