We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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