im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
