My nipple is on Facebook.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize