I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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