Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
