I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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