if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I love you. Go after that dick
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize