What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
