so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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