Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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