..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
