so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
