Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
