is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
