I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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