I like to think it a success when the cops are called
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
