Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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