Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
