no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
