yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
