Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
