I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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