They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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