After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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