I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have fence marks all over my body
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
