So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bring money and cleavage
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
