we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
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you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
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You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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