C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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