Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
