So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
