Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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