we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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