..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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