In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I came so hard my ears popped.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
