Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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