I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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